well, so a lot has happened since i last wrote in this thing. summer after senior year, first year of college, yada yada yada. honestly, it's been so fast i don't really remember a whole lot of it, but i'll try my best to provide the highlights.

i didn't really know what to expect when i got to ucla. from what i had heard, it was cool place, hot chicks, also a lot of metrosexual men. i got here, and...well it turns out that my assumptions were pretty accurate. and GODDAMN there are so many metros here. it's like, jesus christ grow a fuckin sack and stop using so much moisturizer on your nonexistant nutsack. seriously. prior to coming to college, i never would have forseen meeting so many males such gay voices.

and then theres the persians. i dont even bother calling them persian metros, because they all take their metrosexuality to the next level the way only a UCLA persian can. i mean, going into the school year, there probably wasn't one type of person that i particularly disliked. unfortunately, i can't say that holds true anymore. UCLA persians have to be absolutely the most annoying sub-race (it would be unfair to the persian people as a whole to include UCLA persians within the mix) ever. everything about them just screams toolbag. from the $100+ sweater/cardigan/gay things to their ridiculously flaming hair to the expensive cologne that still can't cover up how much they smell like shit, UCLA persians take douchebaggery to levels previously unknown to man.

not that i hold a grudge against them. well, i do, but for good cause. some fat persian guy ripped my "The City" t-shirt during a 3 on 3 IM basketball game, and i have never forgiven UCLA persians ever since. no but really, persians should not be allowed to play at the wooden center. it ruins the whole experience for everyone. no one wants to see a group of persians gay it up for whole game while playing dirty defense, cherry picking on every play, scratching, biting, and grabbing. playing a pickup game against a team of 5 persian guys at wooden is basically like getting anally probed; slightly homosexual, and an unenjoyable experience altogether.

ah but yeah, fall quarter. football games are definitely overrated. mainly cuz the team sucked this year, but also because of the bus ride, and just the sheer length of time that going to a game required. waking up at 9 AM to watch a game that starts at 12:30 PM and not getting back until 6:30 PM isn't really worth it when the team loses just about every home game (except for the Cal game, that shit was sav.)

i guess my "welcome to college" moment came rather quickly in the quarter. actually, it came right away. during zero week, i kept getting calls from a fraternity i didn't really know about, but they said they were going karaoking in k-town so i decide to go, ryan bae in tow. we get there, i ask them for drinks but all they have is red solo cups, minute maid raspberry for chasers, and some shitty alcohol (plastic handle vodka and maybe a little captain mo) so yeah, being the responsible drinker that i am, or was at that point at least, i'm completely gung-ho about getting trashed and karaoking and i make myself three drinks with at least 5 shots in each of them, and down them instantly. now you may be wondering why i would be retarded enough to do something like this, but in my defense, it's pretty tough to gauge how much liquor is in a plastic cup. needless to say, i blacked out on this night. turns out, i ended up throwing up in the guys car (apparently he was PISSED, i would be too, and he made ryan bae clean it up. ryan bae, you are a trooper. too bad he probably hates me because of this incident, but oh well) but oh no, it doesn't stop there. one thing i do remember about that night was getting out of the car, ryan asking me, "can you get back to your room?" and i said yeah, so he leaves. somehow, i stumble my ass back to the eighth floor, where i live, and the real fun begins.

for those of you who aren't familiar with the key card system at UCLA, we have two different cards used to get into buildings. you use your bruin card to get into buildings and to activate the elevator. however, and unfortunately for me, to get into the bathroom and your room, you have a different card key. on this particular night, this is what lead to my demise. so i somehow forget that i REALLY need to take a piss until i get right outside my door. so i try opening the bathroom, which is conveniently located about 2 steps outside of my room. but...it's not opening. why? well, apparently i didn't realize it, but i was attempting to get into the bathroom with my bruin card. eventually, i lost patience and just whipped it out in the hall, and proceeded to relieve myself right in front of my room. i guess this wouldn't have been a problem if no one was around, but since it was zero week, there was at least 10 people out in the hall staring in amazement being like "WOW is he really taking a piss?" one of them was eventually kind enough to "guide" me in the other direction...well first he tried getting me into the bathroom but then realized i was almost done so he just turned me away.

so yeah, after that i go to sleep...wake up the next morning. first thing i do is pat my boxers, cuz however drunk i was, i had a vague recollection of my public urination episode. i remember waking up, and thinking to myself "OH shit did i piss my pants last night? or did i piss in the hall? wtf happened after karaoke?" but after patting the boxers and feeling that they were try, i assumed that no pissing episode of importance had occured. i call ryan bae before going to eat, first thing he says "dude, you were pretty fucked up last night." and then goes on to explain how i puked in the guys car and how he cleaned it up. so i apologize to him, and i go off and eat lunch. after i'm done eating, i'm walking down the hallway back to my room, and i see another guy looking back at me with kind of a weird look on his face like he knows me or something. so i say whats up and again i get "dude, you were pretty trashed last night." it is then that it occurs to me that this is my "helper" from last night. i think about just walking back into my room, but my curiosity gets the best of me.

Me (sheepish voice, scratching the back of my head at the same time): Dude, uhhh...I didn't piss in the hall last night did I?

Jay (helper guy): *points to two FAT wet spots right outside my door*

Me: Oh.


yeah, definitely one of the finer moments in my life. needless to say, i've avoided getting even anywhere near that drunk since then.

other than that, i guess the other big "highlight" if you can call it that, was seeing a suicide on campus. like, dude was lying in a fat pool of blood after jumping out of a building with paramedics pumping his chest. pretty gruesome shit, but rad at the same time.

winter quarter isn't really even worth talking about...i spent most of it in my room doing cs32 projects. likewise, spring has been pretty low-key, nothing really to write home about. our 3 on 3 IM team "The Spread Eagles" went 3-1 during the season but got eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. I was really surprised at how chippy some of the games got. Probably the highlight of my season would be getting into a heated verbal confrontation with a member of a christian fraternity and hearing him say "GOSHDARNIT!"

but yeah, the years almost over...i'm really excited to go home. even though this summer will probably be pretty lame outside of a few days, ("MEXICO IN 18 DAYS BOYS!!!!!" - Julien Cromer, everytime we talk on AIM)
i'm just happy i won't have to write any code or do any other kind of hw for 3 months at least. actually scratch that, i probably have to take summer school at de anza, but that definitely beats anything at school.

and of course...no "miiiiiiiike" xanga entry would be completely without some sort of sports reference/mention/prediction, so i'll just say this.

CELTICS IN 7.